It’s Mothers Day weekend. One week from today it will have been four months since he said, “how was your day Mom?”
Lucas always made sure I got something for mother’s day. It was so important to him. He would pick out flowers from the farmers marker usually- such an incredibly beautiful gesture from a boy. Just a boy. With a giving heart. One time he was going to be gone and I remember he ordered flowers for me to be delivered. Completely on his own. He was only 9 or 10 years old. He used my credit card, but of course I could have cared less. He was thinking about me. He loved me. He was the best son a mother could ever ask for. Ever.
I’m angry I have to be alive this mothers day. Its too much. I’m angry I have to live through this incredible tortuous pain and longing and aching and arms that are empty of a tall strong boy that loved me SO MUCH. And I him.
I just want to go to heaven and be with him.